Famous Americans

The first hostess who set style and manners for the people.

Dolley Madison (1768–1849) was born Dolley Payne in Guilford County, North Carolina. Starting out as a Quaker, Mrs. Madison would later become the first lady to President James Madison (the father of the Constitution) and earn a reputation as a “hostess” for her great influence with dignitaries and politicians. Everyone wanted to be invited to any event that Dolley hosted.

Dolley Madison and Her Legacy

Her father, John Payne, converted to the Quaker faith and moved the family to Philadelphia. However, he was later removed from the congression after becoming too much in debt. Dolley and her mother ran a boarding house where many of the country’s new lawmakers would visit, which introduced her to some of the city’s most important and upcoming politicians.

Before he died, John Payne requested that Dolley, 22 years old at the time, marry John Todd, a Quaker lawyer. She obliged, and the couple had two children in three years.

In 1793, a yellow fever epidemic killed nearly one-fifth of Philadelphia’s population, including Dolley’s in-laws, her husband, and her newborn child. She was now 25 years old and a widow with an 18-month-old son. A friend wrote about Dolley: “Her smile, her conversation, and her manners are so engaging that it is no wonder that such a young widow, with her fine blue eyes and large share of animation, should be indeed a queen of hearts,” a reputation she earned through her years overseeing the boarding house.

In 1794, James Madison, a member of the House of Representatives at the time, met Dolley, and after just a few months, they were married. She wrote to one of her friends about the wedding, “…in the course of this day I give my Hand to the Man who of all other’s I most admire …In this Union I have everything that is soothing and grateful in prospect — & my little Payne (son) will have a generous & tender protector.”

Not everyone was happy about the marriage. Dolley Madison was kicked out of the Quakers for marrying outside her faith, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She later confided to another Quaker that “neither of us were very faithful representatives of that respectable society.”

Political Years – The Hostess

In 1801, the Madisons moved to Washington, DC. President Thomas Jefferson named James Secretary of State. Whenever James had political company, Dolley would assist as hostess to the ladies. This was unusual at the time. Women did not participate in such gatherings. Dolley was the first woman to take on such a roll – one that would follow her to the White House and beyond.

Sometimes, Dolley Madison would serve as the White House hostess for Jefferson, but she also held social gatherings at her home. One person said at the time, “After the president’s, the house of the secretary of state was the resort of most company.” Politicians and diplomats “could not resist … [Dolley’s] conciliatory disposition, … her frank and gracious manners, but frequented her evening circle and sat at her husband’s table.”

By the time James Madison was elected president in 1808, Dolley was known as the most prominent woman in the capital. She set the manners and styles for the new country and worked with an architect to refurnish the public rooms of the White House. The style not only reflected the latest fashion, but, as James Madison’s Montpelier website pointed out, “to display the Founders’ commitment to the ancient republican ideals of civic virtue and responsibility.”

The new public rooms became the meeting place for her Wednesday night gatherings which were so popular they became known as “squeezes” because so many people – of both political parties – would crowd into the rooms. One congressman wrote of the gatherings, “By her deportment in her own house you cannot discover who is her husband’s friends or foes.”

Dolley Madison wasn’t just a great hostess, she also helped people advance their careers and standing. Her niece wrote, “Many, whom the world little knows, are indebted to Mrs. Madison for independence and position in society.”

In 1814, during the War of 1812, the British burned down the White House. Before they could do so, someone rescued the portrait of George Washington. Dolley claimed to have given the order to save it, but others said they were responsible. It is not known for sure exactly who carried out the act, but many still credit Mrs. Madison with the deed.

The Madisons returned to their Montpelier home when James’ two terms as president were over. But, after James died in 1836, Dolley moved back to their home across from the White House where she continued to host gatherings and remain a central figure. Though she was, in fact, the fourth “first lady,” that term wasn’t used until much later. Still, many called her the “first first lady” because she set the standard for how presidential wives would act in the future.

1. Dolley Madison was the wife of James Madison, America’s fourth president.
2. The term “first lady” wasn’t used until after her time in the White House, but because she established many of the traditional behaviors and roles taken on by presidential wives in the future, she was called by many the “first first lady.”
3. Dolley was a widow and single mother when she met James Madison. She eventually outlived him, as well.